Honorary Bridesmaids

So I'm thinkin about having Honorary Bridesmaids. .... girls that are listed in the program, but are not part of the bridal party.
This is a good way to include more people, but not have a ton of people at the altar.

I just went out to coffee with Lisa last night and she all but begged to be a bridesmaid. She expects it in fact. She even told me that she is still a little pissed about Denise not having her as a bridesmaid (and that was years ago). But, that was a different situation. I didn't say she is my bridesmaid, I said I haven't picked my bridal party (except for my matron of honor of course) and Denise had practically said, "it's either you and claudette, or these other two girls" and then picked the other two girls cause Claudette couldn't make it.

She's all like, what kind of bridesmaid dress do you want to get, cause if you get short, well I have lots of tattoos... Ugh.
I know when we were little, we were always gonna be each others bridesmaid, but I really don't see her that often anymore. We aren't as great of friends. I mean, yeah, we've been friends since Elementary School, but what does that really mean? I've had friends I've known since elementary school that didn't even invite me to their wedding. Two of my best friends since 5th grade didn't invite me be in their weddings, I was just a guest and didn't mind.  We are still great friends, but times change and you want different people next to you. Beth had all her college friends next to her, and Sarah had her relatives and such with her.
I don't know why people get upset when they aren't in the bridal party, you are still a guest... you just get to sit down and watch the ceremony.

So, I would have two girls that could have been in the bridal party, but Chris barely can choose four ( he has a definite three, and will have to choose a fourth) and so it would be lopsided (and I'm not having that). So, Sheila is like a month or two preggers, her due date is in January, so she will be wrapped up in the joy and fun of being a mother and will be totally consumed by that for a long time. I don't want her to have to worry about finding a dress and or helping out with the wedding when she has all that to deal with. So, I'd like her to be an honorary bridesmaid. (I know she had her one bridesmaid in her wedding totally just gave birth before her wedding and she made it, but that girl is strong, she married an army guy (i feel if you marry an army guy, your emotions are rock stable, or at least on the outside) and she could totally handle it with a little bit of helping hands with the baby.

So, I'm thinking Lisa would be the only one that get up in arms about not being in the actual party. But then again, I've had to totally beg her to be my friend again twice in our lives. Once in elementary school, when I beat her at Super Mario Brothers and she totally walked out of my house and left and a second time when her parents said that I hated her bf to make her break up with him (ugh, you don't say that to someone! i had a lot of fancy footwork to get out of that one, and she still hasn't totally forgiven about it cause it was just on the heels of ...oh it was three times she nearly didn't be my friend! sigh, the whole Maria/Johnny thing. Ugh, I had told her that I wasn't doing anything the next day, when actually i was going to hang out with her friend Maria's nephew at the arcade. They both got pissed about that and it got blown out of proportion. I mean, seriously, do I really need to include her in everything? I can't just go hang out with someone we both know without her knowing and being invited to ?) Honestly, I've practically had it with the drama and she hardly talks/texts with me. It's like every once in a while i ask her to coffee to keep in touch. And then she wonders why other people don't invite her out. Well you have to talk to them to! She's like, it works both ways, they could text me to.... I'm like, you could text first.... sigh... She's texted me first like once out of all the times that I try to get her to go places (and thats like been that way for at least three years, ever since she started dating her bf....ugh and she brings him everywhere without asking, even if he doesn't want to).


So here's the thing about Honorary Bridesmaids, some people are honored by the mention in the program, or walking down the aisle after the parents before the bridal party, and they get to sit in the front rows, but other people are like screw this! why am I second rate? Why am I not a bridesmaid, what's this stupid "honorary" crap? ... Suck it up people! You are being honored, get used to it.


So after so research involving some message boards, this is the best ideas/advice for honorary bridesmaids that I found:

definition:
"an honorary bridesmaid is a person who is asked to do certain tasks to help in the wedding planning but is not actually a bridesmaid who is in the wedding party. the honorary bridesmaid is mentioned in the wedding program and may be seated in the front pews near or with the family, and is normally given a corsage to wear during the wedding ceremony and reception, but is not one of the bridemaids who stands up with the bride. she is not required to wear the wedding party attire, although some are asked to get dresses in the same color scheme as the wedding party.


in many wedding ceremonies where there are honorary bridesmaids, the honorary bridesmaids will be escorted to their seats by the usher/groomsmen just prior to the immediate family being escorted to their seats, so they become part of the processional, but not part of the actual bridal party.






really cool idea:
I’m going to have my girls all wear the same color and have them stand up and down the aisle. As I walk down the aisle, they will each hand me a flower to make up my bouquet. When I reach the front they will take their seat where they were standing.
The logistics of the flower handoffs may be a bit tricky, but I think we can pull this off and it will be really cool. We won’t have an army of girls up at the front, but my friends will also get to participate in my ceremony in a meaningful way. The handing of the flower is a symbol of their support of me in my relationship with my fiance and their blessing of our marriage. I think it will be really unique and beautiful. "